Every Now and Then

Every now and then, I go to bed late at night, besides, I feel this massive state of just pure joy. I feel safe and calm and lucky to get to spend another day filling it with beautiful things and it’s all you can ask for.

But then the clocks strikes at 4 a.m. and BANG!, my eyes are wide open, my heart is pounding like a beating clock and there are just too many people and vehicle outside. I hear every sound in the whole area and I can see the ray of lights coming from the post lights onto my window. I turn around; try to calm my breath, focus. It’s all okay, it’s all okay, and you’re just tired, go back to sleep.
But the emotion won’t go away and I sleep in an anxious state the rest of the night, half open eyes and slightly on the edge.

The morning comes and I try to greet it with kindness. Be kind to me, okay? Even just for today, please! I think of all the things I can do today, to be kind, to myself. I can go to my favorite tea shop, read a book, or check all of my emails and just be still. Summer is already near, and thinks of all the wonderful things ahead! and…
but the sun is shining way too bright and people are everywhere I don’t know where to go with myself and my room is too small and messy, plans too many and I can’t hold one at a time and everything flies too fast. My heart keeps beating twice my step and I’m worried
about what??
I have NO IDEA!!!

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Sun is shining way too bright.

But the anxiety is creeping up and my chest tightens and I lock myself in the bathroom to breathe. I escape anywhere, whoever I’m with when this happens and I still don’t know why it keeps happening but it does and I just get so damn sad and worried and uneasy and I can’t stop it.

It’s Thursday. It’s April. I made coffee. Eat snacks.
People went to their jobs and kids went to their school this morning, knowing where to put their minds on days like this and on days like this I really wish I had somewhere to put my body and motivate my mind because choice is a freedom that can suffocate you if you don’t know how to handle it
and on this day
I don’t know how to handle it.

At times we just have to make it through the day. That’s okay. It is more than fine.

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2017: Fiery Rooster

Am I too late about New Year? Well, better late than never, right? Sorry for not so active this past few months. Now here it is.

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Somewhere in Nuvali, Santa Rosa: Spending New Year w/ family

Every year you have heard people say, “My New Year’s resolution is…” The reason people do this is because they don’t want to do the same mistakes they did the year previously. New Year has always looked to us a beginning of a new cycle, or a new track of self-development, but seems never intend to have resolutions; instead we should understand the plans for future.

Well, now’s your chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes you want to make, and being the helpful and caring bunch that we are here, I’ve decided to give you a bit of help – because since the majority of people fail to stick to their resolution, you’ll need all the help you can get.

  1. Get in shape. Losing weight is the top resolution, and combined with “exercise more”, and “stay fit and healthy” something most of the population wishes to achieve. It is easy enough to start a diet and exercise program, but fin a decent one that will give you steady results and can stick to long run.
  2. Meet new people. When we get stuck in a track, it usually end up staying at home most of the time, you will miss a lot of fun and opportunities for networking. Don’t be afraid to get out there and make some friends, because meeting new people can be beneficial in your mental health and can help your career.
  3. Be more active. Several people really don’t have a big problem in weight, they can get some exercise few times a week, after that they just sit around at home most of the time. Find ways of moving around instead of staying hunched over the computer, so you can avoid the negative effect on your posture and health. It’s more fun if you share your activities with your friends and family.
  4. Become more polite. One of the important parts of the civilized society is having good manners. It will make easier to connect with others, avoid insulting people and will ensure you as a good and trustworthy person.
  5. Give more time with the people that matter. Too little time in this life for us to waste to be insincere, dishonest and be hypocrite. Focus on the people who we really care about deeply and who care about us, this only the best way to stay happy.

There you have it – my top list of advice to make some changes in your life. But, I would like to say that don’t keep waiting for New Year and realize your plan for future and a better you. It is not a necessary to wait for new cycle in order to change your life, because some adjustments can be and must be done immediately.

Ron’s Seafood Grill and Restaurant

The small town of Liliw in Laguna is an interesting place to visit in the foot of Mt. Banahaw. This place is fairly accessible in all modes of transportation.  The town is scattered with mountain streams flowing down and surrounded by the green shrubbery.

For a Johnny-come-lately, there’s one thing that makes you come home: FOOD. Eating is one of the best family (and even among friends) bonding. Ask the youngsters what they want to do for the weekends and the reply will most likely be, “KAIN TAYO SA LABAS! (To eat out).” For a Filipino, eating strengthens the family ties because of success, accomplishments, even troubles, and struggles come out over the table. Filipinos have always reflected eating as a desire.

Gat Tayaw - founder of Liliw
Gat Tayaw – founder of Liliw

The Ron’s Seafood Grill and Restaurant is not just only a food destination specializing on delicious sea creatures.  Above all, they gained my attention because of their uniqueness and specialty promos. Ron’s started as a mini grocery in the nearby School of Liliw National Senior High School, but eventually put a restaurant. It is owned and operated by husband and wife Ronald and Sherilyn Arguzon. They have been in food business but they’ve been looking for a something different that they can serve in town. Most of the food establishments are offering Italian cuisines like pasta, pizza, cakes and etc.

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Ron's Seafood Resto
Ron’s Seafood Resto

They served everything; from Boodle fight, to Ala carte servings of fresh seafood, chicken, pork, beef, vegetables, pasta and appetizers. The boodle fight menu start at the price of P800 up to P1,800. Serving size is good enough for 8 to 10 persons. The price actually gives  justice to its serving amount.

Boodle Fight A
Boodle Fight A
Boodle Fight B
Boodle Fight B
Boodle Fight C
Boodle Fight C

Turo mo, luto ko. You can choose what kind of seafood you want and pass them to the chef for cooking. Fees for cooking depend of the amount and type of dish you want.

TURO MO, LUTO KO
TURO MO, LUTO KO

Service is accommodating and hospitable. You will love the the place because it has ample parking spaces. Although it is my first time, I enjoyed the experience very much. Their impressive book type menu and suitable interiors created high expectations. Unfortunately I was alone and could only have a meal for my tummy only. Definitely I will come back again and certainly w/ family or friends.

Crispy Sisig
Crispy Sisig
Sauteed Kangkong
Sauteed Kangkong
Panoramic View of the Restaurant
Panoramic View of the Restaurant

RON’S SEAFOODS GRILL & RESTAURANT

Address: Brgy. Ibabang Taykin (along Liliw- Magdalena road) Liliw, Laguna

Contact: (0926) 0363118 / (0908) 3673941

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/seafoodsgrillresto/

Mid 20’s

To The Girl in Her Mid 20’s

Written By Poornima Baskar

You’ve spent so many years looking forward to this phase of your life. And it always looked so cool. So glamorous. So filled with love and laughter.

Yet here you are. With knowledge that it’s anything but.
It’s messy buns and messier lives. It’s baggy shirts and overflowing laundry bags. It’s a lot of work and never enough money. It’s freedom with responsibilities. And life is no longer what it seemed.

Different people are doing different things.

Your best friend’s getting married. Your old classmate is killing it with success. Your ex is happy in love. Your old mate is drowning in drugs. Different people are doing different things. But not you. You’re just existing. You’re getting through everyday a little better than the last. But then you have days where you can’t get up at all.

You spend your Friday evenings holed up in a corner because you’re too responsible to drink your night away. Too control freakish to lose yourself to someone else’s tunes. But somehow, this isn’t enough. This life you’re living doesn’t feel complete. Loneliness wraps around you like a blanket you love and you wonder where you went wrong. Why you became different to everyone else.

“Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Was there a reason why it was never me? Is this going to be the rest of my life? Alone? Unsuccessful? Filled with dreams that never come true?”
And your hands reach out to your phone. One text. One call. To that someone who might make you feel pretty. Who might make you feel important. And your need takes over.

The need to feel accepted. To feel appreciated. To feel adored. To feel loved.

And it is so strong, you forget your sanity for a few minutes of flattery. You lessen your worth for dishonest words. The hurt in your heart, camouflaged. If only for a few seconds.

But it’s never enough. And when you wake up, it’s worse. The hammering of your heart so loud in your ears. A memory of last night frustratingly haunting. Yet another mistake. Yet again.

You scream hateful words to yourself. When will I ever learn? You go over those messages. Those conversations. How you fell right back into a ditch when you knew better. Just for a moment, you wish you weren’t yourself.

And in that moment, read these words:
Breathe. It’s not so bad. You think I don’t understand. But I do. Because I’m there, too. I’ve made that call. I’ve texted that wrong person. I’ve woken up with regrets. I still do. I’ve felt the need to be held. I’ve felt that silent green monster towards a friend in love.
Yes, we all make those mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But they do.

So please, don’t hate yourself. And don’t stop. Don’t stop loving with all you have. Don’t stop wishing on every shooting star. Don’t stop dreaming of fairytales and being as amazing as Malala Yousafzai. You might not always get there, but don’t stop.

You have so much left to do. You have a world filled with life waiting to happen. You have books to be read. Steps to be taken. Places to see. People to meet. You haven’t lived half your life yet. There’s so much ahead. And in ten years, when you look back, you’ll wish you were here again.

So don’t waste it wallowing in your own sadness. Don’t lose yourself to your self-pity and non-existent boundaries. Use everyday. And I don’t mean spend thousands of dollars and visit the North Pole. I know how you’re struggling to make ends meet.

Do the simple things. Stop procrastinating. Take a walk with nature. Go to the gym. Read your favorite book for the millionth time. Watch a movie. Write your novel. Sketch until you’re better than the best. Eat like you’re dying tomorrow. And most importantly, make mistakes. Your heart will heal. But today will never be back again. Don’t live with “Could-have-been’s.” Take chances.

And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember – It’s okay to be alone.

There is time to let your life revolve around someone else. But today, let it revolve around you.

Not because you can’t find someone. Not because you can’t be loved.

But because you deserve to wake up with a smile. You deserve to live life. To make memories so wild, you’ll be the coolest grandparent they’ve ever known.
Breathe. It’s only your mid-20’s.

You’re going to be alright.

Notebook of Love

I bought a notebook, just a simple notebook and I don’t know why I buy things or give things as a means of love but I gave myself a notebook that I can keep my thoughts, I know that someone will going to read this and treasure all of my thoughts and feelings. I often value material belongings and this simple notebook was the most precious gift that I had given to myself, because I wanted to and it was beautiful.

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As the darkness spread, I went home, opened the first page and said “this might be my book of passion”. I want to fill this with beautiful thoughts, lines, and words that will marked my name, unfortunately, when I opened the first page my mind went blanked. Not even a single word within reached, all escaped and asked myself “what do you know about love?” so many questions popping on my head and saying that you lost another battle. A battle that might change your life if you win and a battle that will give you an answer or a lesson to help yourself to be a better one.

I want to write about other things that matter, like life, sorrow, and happiness because these things that matter and always will. Such a simple notebook that can hand a silence of thousands of voice and how can someone can make me feel home even though you are thousand miles away.

Have you ever been in love and hurt someone? You’re mad, disappointed and sad because you just wanted to love and be loved in return but life seems so unfair to you. The life that you always wanted got away and both of you made separate ways. You still the strange love from him/her, but you are still angry and want to hit him/her badly, but you just hug him/her and hurting is like hurting yourself. So falling down on your knees because you are hopeless by your own emotions but that’s we called Love. You will never know that there was love in learning, and never did you know that learning how to love with someone else can solve your “self” part so gracefully.

I am going to write about struggles, sorrow and also about love and happiness. Little by little I can found it and intend to keep it.

Future

A letter to my future one:

I may not good in actions or in words, but writing this letter may help me to communicate with you because I think I will be more honest to say every words that I want to say and prove.

I know someday we are going to meet each other, saying “Hi!” and “Hello!”. Thinking each other and dreaming of the very same night we’ve met. For you will be my true soul mate and I feel that you and I were born to be together and nobody can split us apart. You are the only man who has filled my heart and my soul.

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And someday I’m going to thank you for always being in my side for letting to share everything about you with me. And being the one who has changed my way of thinking and seeing my life with you.

Expressing my feelings is difficult for me, but I had to tell to you, my future love of my life, that how much I love you, you are the only star in the sky for me, the only one I see through my window. Amid the vast darkness, I can clearly see that you are the one who lightens my way. Please never leave me, without you I would not know how to live. You’re the one for me.

I want you to love me for who really I am, not controlling the way how I speak, how to dress, etc. I know you don’t want to get spend your life or get married to that.

Till death do us part! Now and forever, we’ll be here waiting for each other; we will never fail each other or fail our confidence, for us have brought hope into our life at last. My heart was broken and you made me believe in love again. Without you my soul would fall apart, our love until the sun is extinguished and the ocean freezes its cold waters.

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I send you all my loving to my future husband, and I want you to know that I am looking forward to seeing you again very soon.

I’ve been so honest as I could telling you everything I feel for you in these lines. I hope you can trust me because everything I do will always be only for my future husband. I love you deeply, my darling. I promise I will never leave you.

And this would be my sweet letter that demonstrates my feelings about to my future love of my life. And I know someday we will meet each other.

Love Always: Joyce

Companion

Sometimes in life, you come across a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship.

My Companion for Capturing Moments
My Companion for Capturing Moments

When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever have no end.